I’m the most ordinary person in the history of, well, ever. When you think about it—you are too. Not saying that condescendingly, it’s just the facts. Being ordinary, rather, being okay with being ordinary is a harder reality to sit with in this time we live—one that is inundated with movements, new trends being shared every day on social media, ‘big things’, people caught up in ‘changing the world’ and having the mindset that the only thing worth doing, is making it big. B.I.G.N.E.S.S. –we’re obsessed with it. Often times its impressive- it catches people’s eye—but more than that, it elevates our pride.
I had been wrestling greatly in my heart on this subject, and found the wrestling especially present during my recent season of engagement before marrying my husband (excuse me while I still squeal about that!) The closer we got to our wedding day, the more we got our first home together set up, the closer we got everything put into place—reality of what was to come was ever present. After we would kiss and dance awhile, I knew that our lives would look pretty ordinary. We both work ‘normal’ 9-5 jobs, we are covenant members of a local church, and we are both close to our families who live locally. Our days were going to consist of work, serving, bill-paying, apartment cleaning, visiting family and friends just to start all over again.
Don’t get me wrong-that life sounded amazing to me! The stability? A DREAM! But because of fallen humanity, because of our sin—we are always looking to meet the expectations of others, of being enough, of rising to every occasion, of doing all of the things and not skipping a beat. I KNEW I wouldn’t be able to measure up in all of the different roles I would have—I knew I wouldn’t be a perfect wife, a perfect career woman, a perfect homemaker and a perfect church member. I couldn’t offer a glamorous life. I was ordinary, and messy, and I’m sure, the least put together person. I’m incredibly clumsy, ungraceful and forgetful and here I was still just trying to wrap my brain around the fact there was a man choosing me in spite of all of my shortcomings! Because I knew me, knew that I wasn’t one of those women who could “do it all” and “do it well” (or pretend to) I struggled with anxiety of the impending failure to rise and meet unrealistic expectations that, if I had a correct perspective, no one person actually had on me, rather the perception of expectations were present and society said so via wonderful things like social media, pinterest, etc….
The day we left for our honeymoon, my husband (!!!!) suggested I bring the book ‘Ordinary’ by Michael Horton—and it was one of the biggest encouragers to my heart as I finally had time to process all of my feelings and process those feelings against Truth rooted in the scripture of God’s Word. I highly recommend this book for everyone, and in it he says:
“We are growing bored with the ordinary means of God’s grace, attending church week in and week out. Doctrines and disciplines that have shaped faithful Christian witnesses in the past are often marginalized or substituted with newer fashions or methods (pg. 16)…The problem is not that we are too active, but that we are recklessly frenetic. We have grown accustomed to quick fixes and easy solutions. We have grown accustomed to running sprints instead of training for the long distance marathon. We have plenty of energy. The danger is that we will burn ourselves out on restless anxieties and unrealistic expectations (pg.18).”
Since reading it, I have had quite a few conversations with other women who have felt/are still feeling the same way:

–Knowing that trends & ‘Movements’ do just that—they move in and move on out, while we’re still sitting in the same house, town, job, season of life wondering what that means for our lives, now that that particular trend is done, leaving us exhausted in trying to keep up.

–Questioning: why should we be wrestling or struggling to accept this when a quiet, ordinary life is exactly what the Lord has called me to? “and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you” 1 Thess. 4:11

–In addition, being focused on ‘changing the world’ often prompts us to overlook our actual, practical neighbors who we are called to love-denies the call to faithfulness in the local church, leaves us lonely and tempts us to use others as a means to an end.

So how do we find satisfaction/encouragement in an ordinary life?
1. God’s Word
2. Being covenant members of a local church
3. Obedience unto God in all things—even when and especially when it costs us

I’ve come to deeply believe that being extraordinarily great at ordinary things is what actually changes our lives. Slow, consistent growth is what lasts. Same as in our walks with the Lord. I need other women who are completely ordinary like me to come alongside and encourage me, hold me up in prayer, speak Truth in love, study the Bible and apply it practically—not in the ‘Bless Your Heart Southern Bible Belt’ kind of way, but in the “I Actually Believe What The Bible Says and I Want To Treasure The Lord and His Word In All The Mundane, Ordinary Ways Because Those Are The Only Kind Of Moments I Have, But Our Faith Is a Practical One and So I’ll Keep Pressing On” kind of way.

For about 5 years, I’ve been writing on my own blog katnienow@wordpress.com – but I’ve decided to change it up a little bit, starting over here on katmills.org It’s just a pretty little simple thing, but I wanted to change the focus from updates on my own life to it to having a space of deep, abiding, Truth filled encouragement for other women who are just pressing on in the day to day. I want it to be a place where Gospel-centered resources are shared, equipping done and no pressure of ‘measuring up’.
Thanks for stopping by!

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset